Trump Suggests Injection of Disinfectant to Cure COVID: Thank You Senators
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Thank You Senator Mitch McConnell.
Thank You Senator Lindsey Graham.
Thank You Republican Senate Majority.
We, the American people, are so happy that you stood on the side of righteousness and justice, rather than exercise blind fidelity to the President and your party during the impeachment hearings. We are so happy that you worked impartially with the Congress to render a fair verdict during the impeachment trial of the Resident President, also known as The Occupant of the Oval Office. Because of your penultimate wisdom in deciding that the The Resident President’s high crimes and misdemeanors were not worthy of his being removed from office we now have the man of our time brilliantly managing the deadliest health care crisis of our time. Much the same as you do, I write this piece to exalt and praise our God-sent president.
Thanks to the tireless pursuit of and devotion to your constitutional duties, we now have an American president who, like Teddy Roosevelt, is brash enough (or unlike Roosevelt stupid enough) to ask out loud and in front of a social-distancing White House press corps, if the injection of disinfectant into the human body would be a viable way of ending a virus-based global pandemic. The President proudly shat this asinine suggestion out of his mouth as if it were some earth shattering revelation that would one day lead to his winning a Nobel Peace Prize (oh and by the way… that shit is never going to happen). This silly suggestion of gulping down disinfectant and shooting ultraviolet rays into the human body to clean out one’s lungs was made by a man who has access to many of the world’s best and brightest doctors. This Pusherman President is the same person who repeatedly implored the American people to take the unproven drug hydroxychloroquine to treat the Coronavirus, a drug which his own Center for Disease Control has issued warnings against taking for Coronavirus because that shit can kill you!!!
This great American president (in his mind and the mind of about 40% of the Country, but maybe just maybe, that 40% is now finally starting to decrease) is the same brilliant genius who took it upon himself to cut funding to the World Health Organization (WHO), in the midst of a global fucking pandemic when refrigerated trailers are lined up outside of New York City hospitals to serve as make-shift morgues. He cut WHO funding as nurses, doctors and other health care professionals are literally dying to save OUR lives. The decapitation of the WHO comes while we are loosing the wisdom, guidance and loving touch of our elders at such alarming numbers that it’s difficult to even grasp.
This man, the most supreme of all intellectuals, also dismembered the White House’s Pandemic Response Unit out of shear hatred of America’s first black president, Barack Obama, whose administration initiated the program. The disbanding of the Pandemic Response Unit left us ill-equipped to deal with COVID-19, which is now roaming the countryside and travelling to a town near you. Yes, he is a super genius and for this we honor his visionary leadership.
When it was time to dole out PPE, did this magnanimous man say, “I accept responsibility for this and all my actions, I will get it done”? NO. Instead he said, “I do not accept responsibility. It’s the governors’ responsibility to locate and obtain PPE.” Then he did what only the greatest of great leaders do -- he ordered the government to outbid the States for the purchase of PPE. Next, the Almighty said, “I have total authority over all things.” But he then told all 50 governors that each and everyone of them should create a hodgepodge of openings and do their own thing when re-opening, risking the potential of a future reinfection.
It is in these times of great desperation and devastation that we, as Americans, look to our president for hope, comfort and leadership. In his advice to us, true to form, our present day George Washington, uttered his most sage words of wisdom yet, “Go inject some disinfectant in your bodies and drink some fucking Clorox.” That’s some shit a five-year-old knows will kill you. Maybe the President has a plan after all. Maybe his plan is to kill us all, which means, just as we thought, he is a mentally ill malignant narcissist. If not, he is just stupid as hell. Either way, WE ARE ALL FUCKED!!!
Thank you Senator Mitch McConnell. Thank you Senator Lindsey Graham. Thank you Republican Senate majority. You guys are the best.
You fucking pricks.